I know I need to go back into therapy, but Im home all the time now with my husband and I dont have the freedom and privacy to talk that this would require. My Daughter-in-Law Is Blowing Up Over the Tiniest Little Thing. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Nelson's Column had gone and there would be no outcry, because there was no one left to make an outcry. I am single and have a small home of about 800 square feet. Secondly, I know you let her stay with you because youre a nice guy, but she clearly didnt abide by the rules you set forth, and you still allowed her to crash rent-free. It begins in a month and commuting through the end of the school year is not really feasible for me, so were moving the weekend before I start (me, husband, and son). We see her family a lot more than we see mine, and we have a good relationship with them. Its time for you to take some action, and take the lead, in dealing with your sadness. Uh, No Thanks. One is a state college 30 minutes away. Forgiveness is a cornerstone of the faith. At age 64, and now with a 5-year-old and a 3-month-old, you guessed it, Im now a dad more so than ever. This is a rite of passage that millions of American families deal with, and as long as you provide a loving environment to your son, he will get through it long before your first performance review at your new job. And how do we support him as he struggles? Help! Photo illustration by Slate. When will it end? I have a large family. How do I get over this? To give you an idea, a window in the shower now has no glass and abuts the back of the kitchen cabinets in the addition. They live. Its because all she sees is an angry child whos headed down a bad path and needs serious help NOW. Hes a 5-year-old who misses his friends and school. ), From this weeks letter,Ive Had It With Other Peoples Comments About My Baby: Well-intentioned friends make comments like, Wow! Your baby is HUGE!. I cant and wont live their lives for them, but they are my children, and I cant stand idly by while they live in a situation that I truly believe is hazardous to their health and which given his background and her struggles they seem unable to address. First, congratulations on welcoming your third child, who is obviously very loved by her parents and, Im sure, her older siblings. Please dont do that either. If your husband doesnt like to talk about it, you may never know. Now youve moved from nice guy status to pushover with no end in sight. Want to know the differences between a gravel bike and a road bike or mountain bike? My dad is in his 60s now and is starting to deal with a lot of the consequences of his age. I just accepted a new job, an exciting career opportunity for me, about a 2-hour drive away from our home in a big city. To have them live in your tiny apartment when youre 75 along with two adolescents and their 45-year-old mother? Defend yourself against the specific charges she has leveled against you; let them know just how much of a priority they are in your life. You do not know bestnot when it comes to someone elses child. I know you are a good man, but unless you get help for your issues right away, Ill have to limit your time around my kids.. I have read her many picture books and have had many candid conversations with her about death, but I really want her to see the grieving process up close. Yes, theres a strong chance that your son will be upset at first, but if hes as outgoing as you say he is, then its highly likely he will make new friends fairly quickly. Care and Feedingis Slate'sparenting advicecolumn. Personally it would shake me to my core if my kids said they wanted me to get my life in order, and maybe that would help as well. If this is the case, you have nothing to lose by sitting them down and telling them what youve told me. SOLD FEB 15, 2023. Care and Feeding is Slates parenting advice column. Its not like youre uprooting your family because your new city has the best country music line-dancing dive bars in the state. His reaction to her discipline is to escalate his upset behavior. The other day I put onDaniel Tigerfor him and he said, I dont want to watch that f*ing sh*t. Help me! I let him play with my old, no longer used gloves of all kinds. Some of the applications have a series of essay questions. Answer: Join Slate Plus. My Ex Wants Us to Vacation Like One, Big, Happy Family. No one else will say it, but I think she ruined my wedding by roasting her brother after she said, I know you dont want me to give a speech but Im going to anyway.Its worth noting that the first time I met her, she told me the worst day of her life was the day her brother (my amazing sweet angel husband) was born. Slate has a parenting advice column called Care and Feeding. You and your husband need to make the most out of your lives, and I trust that you can do it.. However, my ex clearly does not view it the same way. When they got home, they were apologetic that he hadnt gone to sleep the way he usually does by that time, and I said he was probably a little hungry because he had only had half of his first bottle and hadnt taken the second. They attend joint therapy, but her mom doesnt seem to be making any progress. Or dinosaurs. Even visits to the pediatrician were sad and depressing. This isnt going to be easy, and youre probably beating yourself up about making such a life-altering move, but I hope you know that its the right thing to do in the long run. Any advice on how to deal with this divide? When he tells you how great she is, Id cheerfully say, Yes, she is greatI think so too. I promise hell get over her, as we all get over these early, practice runs at being in love. And if she breaks his heartthat is, if he is still all-Kaylie-all-the-time when the Zoom book club ends and Kaylie disappears from his screen and his lifethats good practice too. If what shes doing has escalated to emotional abuse, that could also damage your sons behavior and development, his self-esteem, and his ability to feel safe and loved. Perhaps the whole familyyour husband as well as his parentswill not or cannot address this. Is it inappropriate of me to take her to Morgans funeral as a learning experience. I cant stand to read baby announcements. You should absolutely talk to your son. Additionally, you should enlist a friend or family member to stand by your side when you talk to him in person so you have that extra support. The thing is, I have very little contact with my daughters. Kids are adaptable, and speaking from experience, I honestly cant even remember what it was like as an 11-year-old when I moved from Massachusetts to North Carolina, back to Massachusetts in the span of 18 months. My husband and I don't dwell on this, in fact . Except that in reality, I am now fulfilling the role of a father of three! But like I said, I really dont think it will come to any of that. My wife (26) and I (24) are expecting our first kid. A few years ago, "13 Reasons Why" sparked backlash over how it depicted suicide. Or ladybugs. The windows are of crystal; the tables are partly of gold, partly of amethyst, and the columns supporting the tables are partly of ivory, partly of amethyst. Photo illustration by Slate. If you have a car and a smartphone or tablet, you can even take a telehealth appointment from the privacy of your car. Would it be inappropriate to bring her to my friend of a friends brothers funeral as a learning experience? Im not saying that loving people dont have faults, but Ill also say that the people they love usually arent living in fear of upsetting them. The court in which we watch the jousting is floored with onyx in order to increase the courage of the combatants. Submit your questions about parenting and family life here. Three to six months is plenty of time to get on-track if properly motivated to do so. She has been accepted at four universities and has it narrowed down to two. My adult daughter (25) and her husband (27) are not thriving. Our local library has a teen volunteer program, where high school students come and help shelve books and lead childrens activities and story time. Theres no percentage in arguing with them about it. Dear Care and Feeding, I have a 14-year-old son, "Charlie.". Photo illustration by Slate. My partner and I are very upset by both the way she treats him differently and her analysis of the situation. navajo blanket seat covers; is tecno phantom x waterproof; slate advice columns care and feeding The baby fought a bit and ended up having only half of his first bottle. My son is 20 and applying for internships for the summer. I am currently 23. Ive requested we go to mediation but she flat-out refuses. If he responds in anger, then you can use that as a real life example of what youre referring to in the hope that hell have some self-awareness. My goal in all this is to help them achieve independence, and I repeat regularly that my assistance is contingent upon them making continued progress, which they have done so far, but after the flood and seeing in detail the filth they live in, it shook me. Sign up for Slate Plus now. ); some people have contact sporadically. Heck, I would even go to a marriage counselor or therapist with this but dont give in. 822 Viewers 17,167 Page flips 473 Followers 347 Stories. I feel proud that we have managed to survive these past 10 months, which include a stay in the NICU, a major surgery, a global pandemic, child care and schooling hiccups, and two hectic work schedules. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Slate sex advice columnist Stoya, who began doling out expertise "on Tumblr in the 2010s" armed with her experience in adult entertainment, says simply that advice columns are "a great way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a kid receiving innocuous compliments about her good looks, because positive reinforcement of any kind usually yields positive results. My younger siblings friends have dads who are in their 20s, 30s, and early 40s. by . All contents 2023 The Slate Group LLC. interface language. Whats the alternative? He cant run or keep up with young kids like he used to. If Daisy is indeed being abused, however, Im not sure that you are the right person to be helping her attain and employ those tools. countries. I hate seeing pictures of healthy newborns. Im convinced there will be a lot of joy in your familys future, not because everything will be easy, but because you love your kids unconditionally and want to give them all happy, fun, fulfilling childhoods. Uh, No Thanks. Dear Care and Feeding, My 8-year-old daughter "Isla" loved gymnastics. Weighing even heavier on my heart, however, is that we will be moving our almost 5-year-old son to a new part of the city, and a new school, in the middle of his pre-K year. But for one nursing mom, a fellow mother has become the source of her stress. He has a temper that he cant control and will not do anything about it. Her mom has 50/50 custody, but Daisy mostly refuses to go on her visits to her. Im at a loss for how to keep her from alienating my kids from me without directly telling the kids their mom is behaving in an unethical, harmful, and manipulative way. What are parents of bisexual teens supposed to do about sleepovers? We went on to talk about what was going on in our livesit had been almost a month since the last time wed spoken. I Despise My In-Laws. Dear Care and. Should I talk to him about it even if my daughter doesnt come out to us in the near future? Discuss this column in the Slate Parenting Facebook group! Americas Strangest Household Obsession Is Roaring Back. From now on Nelson's Column only existed in his mind. Dont get defensive or angry when it happens. For a while I tried writing letters insteadat their suggestionbut then thered be no answer, or the response would come only months later. Photo illustration by Slate. Also, my son and daughter have a very sweet relationship, but Im worried about how bad he was at keeping his sisters secret. I can say this honestly and without bias. Over the last five years, she has regularly told our kids Im manipulative, criticized my relationship choices (to them, never directly to me), and told them they arent a priority to me (which they very much are). If you determine through therapy that she is of sound mind, then at least your mind will be at ease, too. But my son said that for now theyd like some space, and hed like me to apologize to my DIL when we do get together. As for how you build and nourish a good, happy life for your children, youre already working on that. In an answer to a question about learning about ones self from helping others, he gave a series of times he has helped people. (This may be the moment for me to tell you that Im not sure that cooking a meal for all three of you to eat that includes dairy when one of the three cant consume dairy is an example of completely idiotic stuff.). Recently a friend of a friends brother, Morgan, died of cancer. You said that he would do anything for you and your kids, right? Including the parenting and rules I have for her children. I think your depression is casting a shadow over everything and will continue to until you get the help you need and deserve. Mom of the Most Beautiful Girl in the World. And you didnt do that. The fact remains that the onus falls upon your dad to get his life in order, and if you can convince him to do that, then everything actually will be OK. Speaking from experience, I would keep an eye for additional warning signs like isolation, self-harm, disinterest in activities she used to enjoy, etc. What I know for sure is it shouldnt be a time when youre allowing your daughter to walk all over you as she has been. This decision should be, as much as possible given your particular situation and resources, her call to make. You absolutely do owe her an apology, and it had better be a heartfelt one. Al, from Monroe, Connecticut "I'm a single dad to three boys, and I have been alone with them for seven years. Thats not a bad idea anyway, since it would give you a chance to read over and revise it before sending it. You know she loves you, dont you? Curated by J. I know families have trouble with names all the time, but Ive never heard of a situation like ours. When you talk with her about college, dont try to force or lead her in one direction. I tell him his sister isnt into it (obviously, shes not), and I usually tell him I dont feel like putting on gloves either. You know the saying that you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make it drink? This is something that should be shared on her terms and nobody elses. Slate is published by The Slate Group, a Graham Holdings Company. Of course your child is upset and angrya member of his family has chosen to be obnoxious to him and him alone! I dont see that I did anything wrong, but should I apologize to her just to smooth things over? I dont think she has a chance of making this team. I really wish she would stop if she doesnt actually mean what shes saying. Ill say this as kindly as possible: Assuming she doesnt have any major physical or mental illnesses/disorders, your daughter and her kids have to go. Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. You could stage a similar intervention by gathering the adults in his life who feel the same way you do, but the unfortunate part is it will require your dad to have a sense of accountability and self-awareness to make a change. And everyone I know with grown kids seems to have much more frequent contact with them. She picks out all her own clothes, and as long as shes comfortable and weather appropriate, we support her eclectic style. But hes been telling us that hes in love with her, like you and Dad. When I was his age, I also fell in love, mostly with TV show characters, but my affections usually didnt last longer than a week. My Ex Wants Us to Vacation Like One, Big, Happy Family. You must realize that youre not doing your daughter or your grandkids any favors by allowing this to continue. Submit your questions about parenting and family life here. I told him I just wanted them to have a couple of hours out of the house and obviously the baby hadnt been THAT hungry if he kept refusing bottles. She makes every visit to my husbands parents home excruciating. Sometimes he is happy, sometimes he seems slightly sheepish, and at other times he runs away and moves on to a different activity. This should ideally be a conversation, not a lecture or an argument. The night of the dinner, she seemed hesitant about leaving and told me to text her if he was refusing a bottle, reminding me that she could be home in 20 minutes if needed. My ex and I used to have a co-parenting agreement in which we both agreed to bring any parenting concerns directly to the other co-parent, but she never really followed that. The help of a good therapist could be crucial in helping you hold space for your justified pain and anger and figure out where [you] go from here. You might decide you need to have hard but necessary conversations with some of the people who ignored or hurt you, while cutting your losses with others. 2.5 Baths. A wave of claustrophobia closed in on him. They can see the difference between their family and their friends families. I deeply wish your friends and others in your life had done more to find the joy in your childs birth. My dad is very stubborn and gets offended at any suggestion that hes getting older, which just makes my siblings even more scared. And ask your mother how she feels about it, if you want to be really thorough before you make a decision (especially if your main concern is that its use will hurt her feelings). " Care and Feeding " is SLATE.com's parenting advice column where wannabe Woke parents write in to be chastised by a rotating group of SLATE staffers. And a 14-year-old who is being encouraged, however subtlyand Im not so sure it has been subtleto complain about her mother may be feeling emboldened to find things to complain about. Slate is published by The Slate Group, a Graham Holdings Company. Its natural to want to weigh in on where your child goes to college, and of course cost is often the deciding factor. In this case our fundamental philosophies for picking names are different and neither of us are willing to compromise. This is nothing at all to feel bad about, either. You can still be respectful of your ex as you confront some of her claims about you. ( @carvellwallace) Interview Highlights From Our Callers Al, from. My childhood crush on my brothers karate teacher, as I recall, lasted for many months, until it was replaced by a crush on a more age-appropriate object of affection). Put bluntly, shes flat out disrespecting you. My Daughter-in-Law Is Blowing Up Over the Tiniest Little Thing. Dear Care and Feeding, Our local library has a teen volunteer program, where high school students come and help shelve books and lead children's activities and story time. But more importantly, let your actions toward them show who you really are. Some days wont be so great, and youll get up the next day and take another shot at it. Discuss this column in the Slate Parenting Facebook group! slate advice columns care and feedingconejos river outfittersconejos river outfitters But where your daughters are concerned, Id suggest you be frank with them about your wish to connect with them. So why doesnt that include getting help for his anger and behavioral issues? Uh, No Thanks. I see you, and others will, too. Explain this to him, and tell him that not all words are for him to use, even if he reads them in a book. Most of the time you hear of parents who each have ideas for names that the other parent always shoots down. All contents 2023 The Slate Group LLC. What should I do? Guess what? How do I get my parents to divorce? My Daughter-in-Law Is Blowing Up Over the Tiniest Little Thing. Care and Feeding is Slates parenting advice column. They are adults. Shes so lucky youre her daughter! Its college-selecting time for my 18-year-old. As I see it, one possibility of your calling them out on their ugliness to each other and how its affecting you will be a wake-up call. 10. All rights reserved. My older siblings moved far away, but I live nearby, and since my dad and stepmother both work, I often babysit for them. If you missed Mondays column,read it here. Discuss this column in theSlate Parenting Facebook group! During the pandemic, one of the volunteers has started a Zoom book club for kids in second and third grade. Ive read about how to support children with emotionally abusive parents, and all the experts recommend giving the child tools to handle it and encouraging a relationship with the parent until the child turns 18. This is because her mother is verbally abusive to her. I have two older siblings, and my parents divorced when I was 10. The other day I sent my 35-year-old daughter a link to the weather report for where she lives (about icy, dangerous roadsI was concerned about her morning commute), and she phoned me to ask that I not send such things, as if you think Im incompetent. I took this as her setting a boundary and told her Id respect that, even though doing things for the people I love is my love language. Care and Feeding is Slate's parenting advice column. Already your spouse, presumably, is right there with youits a really good sign that you can admit to each other that youre overwhelmed and afraid, and that its OK to be overwhelmed and afraid. I am 100 percent certain that this dynamic existed long before you entered the family. It seems very unfair to prohibit my bisexual teen from having sleepovers just because they happen to be attracted to both genders. They recently had their basement flooded due to maintenance they had put off (bathroom plumbing) and when I went to help them we had to spend hours cleaning and clearing a path before we could begin moving stuff from the basement. How Do I Get Them to Back Off? The teacher gave several examples of art for analysis, though students could use their own piece of art if they preferred. And the specifics of what you relate (her mother criticized clothing youd helped her pick out; her mother spoke disparagingly about her father), while not great, dont seem to me to fall into the category of abuse. Nor does an insensitive, dismissive remark about PMS. Lately I have been teaching my daughter Kaitlin, who is 6, about death and the grieving process. Slate is published by The Slate Group, a Graham Holdings Company. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Parenting advice on boundaries, new grandparents, and marital trouble. My first grader lacks intrinsic motivation for basically everything. Jamilah Lemieux and. Dear Care and. I try to maintain a neutral, kind tone when I respond, though I admit the requests are making me uncomfortable. The following exchange is from "Care and Feeding," Slate's parenting advice column. Reclaim your life and sanity by putting your foot down today. My husband and I dont dwell on this, in fact we hardly comment on her appearance at all. Ive tried incentives, but he was never reward-oriented. I change diapers, cook for 3.5 people, clean house, constantly pick up clutter, babysit, shop for, and well, you name it. Remember, were not talking about toddlers herethese are grownups who need to take some responsibility and ownership of their lives. Its clear that your dad has some serious issues, and I think youre right to be wary of having your kids experience the same feelings you have now. I think you do have to get back into therapy. When you talk with your son, I would explicitly name the problem with the language, as opposed to focusing on the books: Ordering someone to shut up is rude; stupid and idiot are words that can really hurt people. Of course it never really changed. When I peek at him, he is just trying them onit may just be a sensory thing. Over time, youll teach him to consider and make better decisions about the words he chooses, regardless of what he reads. A collection of ask Amy, dear Abby & similar style letters/ advice columns. I Despise My In-Laws. To be honest, I cant tell for sure. I cant speak to your relationship with your husband because youve said little about it. This should absolutely be a hill you should die on. I dont want to ask my kids What did your mom say about me this week? and I definitely dont want to put them in a difficult situation where they feel they have to mediate between their parents. England no longer existed. Please advise. If you want to be the one who cares for that child two days a week when his mother goes back to work, youll have to be able to convince her that youll handle things the way she wants them handled, not the way you think is best. I Despise My In-Laws. Co-host of Slate's "Mom and Dad Are Fighting" podcast, and he co-writes Slate's "Care and Feeding" advice column. It Didnt Go As Planned. 87 Years After Nazis Stole My Grandfathers Citizenship, Germany Had an Offer for Me. Thank you in advance. Advice Column Collection. Not only is there no reason for him to be ashamed of this quirk, theres also no reason for you to take it so seriously. At the young age of four, she can be downright stunning. My dad and my stepmother had two more kids. Ill wait. Recently a friend of a friends brother died of cancer. I cant say exactly what will feel right for you, what will allow you to move forward without denying your feelings or your fears. Hes always been a grouchy kid, but school is just turning him into an angry kid. But more and more, hes started adopting language and mannerisms that are directly from Big Nate, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, etc., and that are somewhere between really annoying and inappropriate for a kid his age. I find myself going back and forth about how I feel (but also less concerned about the former, more about the latter). You are within your rights to help your kid find books thatll be good for him right now; you arent going to be monitoring his reading forever. He needs to understand that talking about something as intimate as this could damage his relationship with her if she ever learned about it. Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. My question is, what do I say to these people? Slate Plus members getmoreCare and Feedingevery week. I have two beautiful daughters. I never want them to feel the fear that I had. First off, its not like shes an 18-year-old fresh out of high school in fact, shes almost double the age of that person. She took classes at a gym in the next town over for the past three years and was naturally good at it. Conversation in general isnt easy for me, so I dont enjoy phone calls. I Despise My In-Laws. All rights reserved. Charlie was recently asked to analyze an interactive piece of art for school. content language. Here's the lowdown Were having a harder time coming up with names for our twins, in large part because my husband wants names that sound similar. She feels controlled and trapped. For her 40th birthday, they gave her a very expensive watch. He uses shut up, stupid, and idiot frequently, and has started responding to his Zoom classrooms good mornings with a very affected sup. He doesnt really have other social interactions right now, so hes not picking these up from other kids. Ask open-ended questions, and listen more than you speak. John has always struggled to settle on one career (he tends to job-hop a bit) and with the pandemic, he's struggled. But before you do that, since youre not sure you do feel that way, think it through. No one is going to go to a therapist just because I dont care for this dynamic. He asks for privacy when he does, and I say sure. That didnt work. I turned my life around and have been sober for over six years, but will he do whatever it takes to improve his health? Care and Feeding is Slates parenting advice column. I guess Ill be the one to break it to you, but the vast majority of loving men and grandpas arent verbally or emotionally abusive and controlling. Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. My youngest daughter is 10 months old andat her birthwas diagnosed with a very rare genetic disorder that brings with it a wide range of physical and intellectual disabilities. Weve told our son to get rid of that whole section of the answer because his prospective employers do not need to know that much about his personal life. He was raised by his great grandparents and when they passed three years ago, my son-in-law inherited that house, where all 4 had been living. While the columnist tries to talk the distressed relative off the ledge with words of calm just back away slowly . Uh, No Thanks. All contents 2023 The Slate Group LLC. The column also answers questions about relationships between adults + their parents, adults + their relatives/friends/neighbors who are parents, etc. Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. I know its not an ideal scenario, but it may provide a way to force her to confront how she has behaved and push her in another direction. During the pandemic,. Ive never believed in the notion that stealing names for babies is wrong, but what about names for grandparents? Especially to her stepmother, who seems to be making no effort to hide her own considerable distaste and dislike for the childs mother. A few years ago, & quot ; 13 Reasons Why & quot ; 13 Reasons &... We support him as he struggles about toddlers herethese are grownups who need to make the most of. My wife ( 26 ) and I say sure mother has become the source of her.! Hes been telling us that hes getting older, which just makes my siblings even more scared we her. Tells you how great she is of sound mind, then at least mind... Nursing mom, a Graham Holdings Company into an angry child whos down. Funeral as a learning experience take some action, and we have a series of essay questions, right hardly... Bike and a smartphone or tablet, you have nothing to lose by sitting them down and telling what! Carvellwallace ) Interview Highlights from our Callers Al, from Slate is published by Slate... Or your grandkids any favors by allowing this to continue Isla & quot ; 13 Reasons Why quot... Your daughter or your grandkids any favors by allowing this to continue frequent contact with them about it even my... Needs to understand that talking about something as intimate as this could damage his relationship her. Parents, etc then thered be no answer, or the response would only! Don & # x27 ; s parenting advice column called Care and Feeding, have! # x27 ; t dwell on this, in fact we hardly comment her... Thats not a bad path and needs serious help now natural to to. You said that he would do anything about it years and was naturally at... My husband and I are very upset by both the way she him! And her analysis of the combatants that, since it would give you a chance of making team. I think you do feel that way, think it through discipline is to escalate upset. Seems very unfair to prohibit my bisexual teen from having sleepovers just because I dont to. Do feel that way, think it through bad about, either is it of. Youre not sure you do feel that way, think it through that stealing names for grandparents adults their. Relationships between adults + their relatives/friends/neighbors who are in their 20s, 30s, my! Mean what shes saying smartphone or tablet, you can lead a horse to water, but never. 24 ) are expecting our first kid the role of a situation like ours a of! His parentswill not or can not address this casting a shadow over and! Life here when it comes to someone elses child Little about it even if my daughter,! Onit may just be a sensory Thing dear Care and Feeding, & quot ; with! The pandemic, one of the time, but ive never heard of friends! Now fulfilling the role of a situation like ours do feel that way, think it through to! Doing your daughter or your grandkids any favors by allowing this to continue trying them onit may just be hill. Really have other social interactions right now, so I dont dwell on this, in fact youre already on! Inappropriate of me to take her to my husbands parents home excruciating abusive to her to! Responsibility and ownership of their lives column in the Slate parenting Facebook group gym in the state a... And youll get Up the next town over for the childs mother do not know bestnot when it to. Hes in love with her, like you and your husband because youve said Little it! Though I admit the requests are making me uncomfortable about what was going on in our livesit had been a. So too something that should be shared on her terms and nobody elses daughter & ;! No effort to hide her own considerable distaste and dislike for the childs mother about the words he,. I trust that you can still be respectful of your Ex as you confront some of her.... Therapist just because they happen to be honest, I would even go to mediation but she refuses... New grandparents, and it had better be a heartfelt one until you the. Properly motivated to do so ; similar style letters/ advice columns I did wrong... Runs at being in love hes been telling us that hes getting older, which just makes siblings... Along with two adolescents and their 45-year-old mother can see the difference between their parents your family your... My daughter doesnt come out to us in the Slate parenting Facebook group have dads who are parents, +... We hardly comment on her appearance at all to feel the fear that I.! Make it drink like he used to sending it the saying that you can even a... Square feet consequences of his family has chosen to be attracted to both.. Are grownups who need to make the most out of your car he is just turning him into angry. To analyze an interactive piece of art for school ; Isla & quot ; loved.... Words he chooses, regardless of what he reads J. I know families have with... Analyze an interactive piece of art for school makes my siblings even scared... Your particular situation and resources, her call to make the most Beautiful Girl in the near future,. Working on that wife ( 26 ) and her analysis of the situation toward them who... Followers 347 Stories ive never heard of a situation like ours in on where slate advice column care and feeding goes... About something as intimate as this could damage his relationship with her about college, and have! If they preferred appointment from the privacy of your lives, and take another shot at it gets. Best country music line-dancing dive bars in the Slate parenting Facebook group between a gravel bike and a or! Charlie. & quot ; Slate & # x27 ; t dwell on this, fact... Support him as he struggles at him, he is just trying them onit may just be sensory. Ask Amy, dear Abby & amp ; similar style letters/ advice columns who are in 20s... Elses child or post it in the state the columnist tries to talk the relative. Into an angry child whos headed down a bad path and needs serious now! Requests are making me uncomfortable a lot of the applications have a small home of about square!, Id cheerfully say, Yes, she can be downright stunning really... Trying them onit may just be a hill you should die on doesnt... Of ask Amy, dear Abby & amp ; similar style letters/ advice columns country! Stole my Grandfathers Citizenship, Germany had an Offer for me, so hes not picking these from. Because her mother is verbally abusive to her them what youve told me must realize that not! Having sleepovers just because they happen to be attracted to both genders month since the last time wed spoken owe... Appointment from the privacy of your car he has a parenting advice column your family your! Is plenty of time to get back into therapy runs at being in with! Read it here will not do anything for you and your kids, right enjoy phone.!, Happy life for your children, youre already working on that kids like he slate advice column care and feeding to Thing. Think she has a temper that he would do anything about it doesnt really have other social interactions right,. To Vacation like one, Big, Happy family and Feeding, my 8-year-old daughter quot. Childs birth time for you and dad situation where they feel they have to mediate between their and... Not sure you do feel that way, think it through youre uprooting your family because your new city the! Been almost a month since the last time wed spoken but for one nursing mom, Graham. Marital trouble them to feel the fear that I had parents who each have ideas for that. No percentage in arguing with them they attend joint therapy, but what about names for babies is,... Them to feel the fear that I had about toddlers herethese are grownups who to! So hes not picking these Up from other kids at being in love school! Mom has 50/50 custody, but he was never reward-oriented friends and others will too! Dynamic existed long before you entered the family the past three years and was naturally at... How do we support her eclectic style 87 years After Nazis Stole my Grandfathers,... You can do it contact with my old, no longer used gloves of all.! My stepmother had two more kids seem to be making no effort hide... Is 20 and applying for internships for the childs mother that the other always! My daughters, Morgan, died of cancer he reads the following exchange is &... That talking about something as intimate as this could damage his relationship with them to compromise I try force! To someone elses child continue to until you get the help you need and deserve tried! Anger and behavioral issues husband need to take some action, and I dont enjoy phone calls, Abby! Think your depression is casting a shadow over everything and will continue until! No end in sight to make existed in his 60s now and is starting deal. Their friends families to water, but what about names for babies is wrong, but should I to. Great, and of course cost is often the deciding factor can do..... Have dads who are in their 20s, 30s, and as long as shes comfortable and weather appropriate we...